News coming in from reporters stationed overseas during the pre-olympic warm-ups has revealed that protesters have been joining in with the spirit of the games. Thousands of protesters and other enemies of the state have been rounded up into three large pens in which they must stay during the duration of the games, if at any point one of them protests outside of the zone then the clock will be started and the police and riot squad will be after them. So far people of all nations have competed in the event, British activist Brian Bennon managed to completely evade the Chinese authorities and reach his hotel before the police broke down his door and spazzed-in his knees.This comes following news that the standard 38 disciplines will be amended this year due to the gymnastics olympians slipping subtle political messages in their theatrical set pieces. Gymnast Mira Higgis denied the olympic committee’s allegations that her piece paralleled the Tiananmen Square incident, and that the twists and slides and dives were inconsequential to the committee’s belief that they depicted people taking shotgun blasts.
Media services have already swarmed on the news with several channels already setting up live 24 hour broadcasts of the contestant’s pens with in the field reporters ready to follow and interview a rogue protest if and when it happens. So far the Chinese forces have reported being “excited and optimistic” about the events, some even commenting in passing that this should have been done years ago as it deals with dissidents and makes them feel like they are fulfilling a really important role in the international profile of the country.
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