ADVERTISING COMPANY USES UNUSUAL TACTICS TO SELL PRODUCT, world still in shock

Just sitting down to a hard earned dinner after an honest day’s work, the pre heated microwave meal simmering in its nucleated plastic container. But there, in the comfort and security of your own sofa your family’s quality time is ruined by the placement of sickeningly dishonest and atypical advertisements on the television. Their in your home, whilst in the presence of your children, you are forced to witness people engage in unfamiliar activities and practices. You are made to endure people who you have no connection in interests or lifestyle with engage in fictional and completely contrite situations to sell you new products. It’s sickening. It’s sickening that these advertisements do not cater to the vast, vast majority of normal, ordinary hardworking people and instead try to debase our television with social variations for no other reason that experimentation, modernity and a more gripping sense of interest and excitement.

The overwhelming response from viewers was felt, as literally several of you phoned in to immediately complain. After this shocking backlash from the public, we went to confront the advertising brand in question but were met only with an official press release:
“The advert in question has been suspended due to viewer requests, we trialled the advertisement in good faith based on recommendations however these recommendations later proved to be wrong. In turn we pledge that our future advertisement will be completely lacking in social variation and reform, whilst enforcing an unwavering sense of political and sociological heterodoxy and also instilling old fashioned and unchanging family models and values.”

We attempted to ask further questions about the company’s own sense of responsibility for the thousands of children who could have possibly been enriched or informed by the adverts, but they refused to allow us access to the building after they misinterpreted my honest curiosity at how their CEO Mr Baxter’s private life was going as blackmail. We can be fairly sure that their speedy decision to call the police shows that as a company they have something to hide.